Fat Fashion

When I started this journey in January I was a comfortable size 20, and a snug, but not tight 18. Currently I am a comfortable size 14 with a goal of being a size 12 in a month or so. I haven't been smaller than a size 16 in over 10 years, and I don't remember being under 200 pounds since my sophomore year of college. This means I spent all of my 20's as "Plus Sized" and my purchases alone probably sent a Lane Bryant CEO's kid to a very nice private liberal arts college. 

Last week I walked through Lane Bryant to get a belt, and out of habit looked around. It dawned on me that I currently wear the smallest size they carry. Back in March I got excited because as a 16 most department stores carried clothes for me and that I cried in a store realizing that I could buy a cute jacket in my size when I had never been able to purchase ANY clothes in that store since I moved to this town 8 years ago. I picked up a cute dress at Lane Bryant in a size 14 and looking at the hanger all I could think was how small it looked. I just couldn't imagine it fitting. When I got home and tried it on it not only fit like a glove, but I looked great! I cried. Again. 

I'm not a crier. Really, I'm not. But I've cried more in the last 6 months about my body than I have in 6 years about anything- body image, boys, you name it I've been pretty dry eyed. And it hasn't been all happy tears about the weight loss. I don't know this body. I don't recognize it. It doesn't live up to the pedestal that I've built for it over the last ten years. All that said, this new body and I are working through our issues and making it a day at a time. I mentioned yesterday that I've been having confidence doubts the last few weeks, and then this article showed up. 

I'm an avid listener of NPR, and I trust their reporting. When I worked retail 5 years ago we were told that Lane Bryant held 40% of the market for plus sized clothing, and they were killing it because no one else welcomed fat women into their stores. You could buy their clothes online, but they didn't make it easy for plus sized women to find clothes in the store. That wasn't the "vibe" a store wanted to send. Now, at least this article argues, more department stores are realizing the earning potential of welcoming larger clientele. The part that hit me, however, was this line: 

           "Even though the average American woman is around a size 14, most            department store racks are devoted to smaller bodies."

I'm average. Holy shit- I'm average!!! Granted average is all women over the age of 18 probably, and for my age group I'm probably still larger than average, but in some statistically significant way I'm an average size woman! Ha! Ok, that's all. I just needed to freak out about that for a second. 

As for actual fat fashion advice, ha ha, I'm not your gal. I've never been considered fashionable. lol. I do think it's about time retailers realized the money their store vanity has cost them.