Things are Crazy! Crazy Good!

While recapping my last week with a friend she commented that things were going really well for me, and you know, as much as my often pessimistic heart is pained to acknowledge it, things are going really well for me.

I'm down to 217- that makes 36 pounds down since January 5, and still staying really close to my 10 pounds a month average. In the last week I've dropped 5 or 6 pounds and that makes me really excited. I think I discussed earlier that I up'd my calorie intake and voila, I started dropping pounds. Perhaps I should have trusted the LoseIt.com app sooner. I had adjusted my suggested 1400+ calorie count down to around 1300 and stalled. I should note that when I started LoseIt is suggested I eat over 1500 calories, and as I lost weight it has dropped with me. Honestly, it PAINED me to eat more. Everything in my head screamed that I would start gaining if I ate more calories. Calories in versus calories burned, and I thought I wasn't burning enough or that I was consuming too many (That's what got me in this mess after-all right?).

Only 18 pounds to one-derland. For the first time since I started this I really feel like I can do it. I've already lost twice of what I have to go to meet my first BIG goal. Yes, I want to lose 100 pounds this year, but that first 50 (technically 54) is a huge milestone. I'm a little concerned I won't hit it by the middle of June (my birthday), but I can live with that. Will I be disappointed? Absolutely. But I'll be close.

I also had a large jump in my clothes. In January I had size 18 and 20 jeans that fit me well and that I wore. Most of my dress pants were size 18 and pretty snug. I stopped by Goodwill this weekend to do a little browsing. I have a hard time justifying my budget on clothes that I'm hopefully not going to fit into in a month or two, so Goodwill has been a good option for cheap clothes that fit. I took a leap and bought size 16 jeans (2 pair), and a pair of size 14 jeans to shrink into. I think I really bought the 14 to see how far I had to go... sorta like a "soon to be" pair of skinny jeans. I found a pair of Talbots dress slacks in a size 16 as well. (In the past I've found Talbots to run small, but these fit well)  I also picked up a cute top and a pair of XL Nike wind-suit pants. They all fit!! The 14 was snug, don't get me wrong, but I could button, zip, and breathe in them. I won't be wearing them out in public for a while, but I now know how close I am. When I graduated college 9 years ago I was a size 16/18, ok, I was an 18, but I was still wearing my 16 pants in denial. Being a 14/16 hasn't happened in a really long time and I'm stoked!

Today's recipe comes from eating out of the cupboard. One big difference that I've seen in my food consumption is weekly rather than monthly trips to the grocery store. This past week I haven't gone yet (It's been a CRAZY week!). Thus, I'm left to eat out of my cupboard and freezer, which is scary if you are staying away from processed foods and carbs. My family often cans fresh vegetables every year or two from local farms or family land. I had a jar of green beans so I grabbed them. The beans are a three bean medley (kidney, red, and black) that I found on sale at HEB a while back. The chicken is the BEST DAMN CHICKEN RECIPE EVER!!! I cannot stress how much I love this recipe and it's low calorie too! I obviously skip the rice, and I usually bump up the sriracha- I like it with a kick.

Overall this dinner was yummy, filling, and not too bad on the calories. I had plenty of veggies earlier in the day and I really needed a punch of protein. This certainly did the trick!

What's in a name? That which we call a "cheat" is...

The good: I'm down 34 lbs to 219! 20 pounds to Onederland is really exciting!! It feels like it could actually happen, whereas when I started it seemed too far away. I have less to go (to my halfway point) than I'm come from and that's awesome!

The bad: I totally ate a 1200+ calorie dinner last night and ended up going at least 450 calories over my daily limit. Long story short a friend was in a rough spot so I went and picked up Freebirds and took it to the hospital and picnic'd with her in the lobby. I got comfort food for both of us (brownie, cookie, queso, etc...).

The IDK: I haven't been very hungry this week, so I was under by close to 1000 calories for the week so far, so I don't think I did any damage mentally or physically. I say mentally because I had a few sips of soda and half a brownie. I haven't sworn off much in this lifestyle, but Dr. Pepper was a serious crutch in my life that I haven't had. Last night I had a few sips of Diet Dr. Pepper, and honestly it didn't taste great. I'm sure that helps.

Because I freaked out when I got home (guilt, upset tummy, OMG-what have I done, I just started losing weight again) I got online and did some reading. Now, I am either rationalizing the action I just did, or I found data that suggests that it may not be such a bad thing to "splurge" a meal every week or two. I've never been a fan of "cheat" days, meals, snacks etc. BUT there are a LOT of folks that swear by calorie/carb cycling. That having the occasional boost of calories or carbs can increase metabolism. I'm not sure. It sort of makes sense, but most pseudo-science does.

Today's effects were a weigh in at 220 (the 219 was yesterday, pre splurge), but I was expecting worse considering all the sodium I ingested. I've been sucking down water all day like a crazy person today and had a banana (potassium source) to try and push any sodium induced water log out. I also have a nice, big, healthy salad on the docket for dinner tonight. Ta ta for now.

Breaking Through the Plateau

Well, today the scale FINALLY budged. A while back I bought an EatSmart scale because my $20 Walmart special was in consistent.  The new scale is VERY consistent, but weighs me slightly heavier. Lol. Careful what you wish for right?  The new scale put me at 222.6 and the old one at 221.6. The important thing is that the scale moved!

I have been eating closer to 1400 calories... rarely more, some days less. Still working out 3ish days a week. 

The picture below is dinner from Saturday night.  Baked spaghetti squash covered in a kitchen sink spaghetti sauce. Roasted vegetables (leftovers actually- roasted yellow squash,  zucchini,  carrots,  onions, and cherry tomatoes), leftover Ragu in the freezer, and baked chicken thighs- hence kitchen sink spaghetti.  It was delicious and helped to clean out the fridge!

Holding Steady

It's been a few days... my apologies. I wish that I had more to report, but my stats haven't changed much. Still at 223, my measurements have dropped a quarter and half inch here and there, but nothing major anywhere. I tried my first body weight exercises at home last night in lieu of the gym. Whew- my leg muscles definitely know something was different. I had really been avoiding the body weight exercises because I was afraid they would be too difficult and discouraging. They were exactly what I need, and I'm hoping to switch from weight machines to a body weight routine. I've been eating a few more calories this week (closer to 1400-1450) and I've seen no weight gain, and no significant loss. I was at the low side of 223 the last few days though so maybe I did need to eat more.

The plateau has frustrated me, I'd be lying if I said it didn't, but it's also been heartening that I'm not gaining. That 30 lbs down and I can keep it off a month. I'm still worried about my birthday goal, but I'm also proud that I've been able to achieve what I have so far. At 223 I'm the lightest I've been in a long while, and my clothes are fitting better. All the cardio has definitely given me more go and I'm less winded in my day to day than I was. I also started curbing my fruit slightly. It was pointed out to me that I was eating what could be an excessive amount of sugar through all the fruit. So more veggies, some fruit, some lean protein, and as few carbs as possible. I also contacted a dietitian yesterday about a possible consultation, but I haven't heard back. She specializes in weight management so I'm hoping she can provide me some answers.

My recipe today is a breakfast recipe I've been rocking this week. It's a sweet potato hash with onions topped with a couple of eggs, baked until the eggs are done. In order to have a quicker breakfast I cooked the hash (diced sweet potatoes and onions with a splash of olive oil and salt/pepper) on Sunday. In the morning I spoon out some to an oven safe plate, make an indention in the hash and crack a medium egg into each indention. Put in the oven at 350 and it's usually done in 15-20 minutes. I usually prefer a little run in my yolk, but I haven't been able to time that. They've come out as hard yolks, but not overcooked and really yummy! Paired with grapes, or a strawberry greek yogurt and I have a nutritious, filling breakfast that easily sticks with me until lunch!

First BBQ of the Season

As I've mentioned before, it is very important that I be able to enjoy food with friends. Food is more than fuel for me... it's a social glue. I try to have friends over for dinner every few weeks. Nothing fancy, just food, drinks, and laughs. I haven't really done much hosting since I started this journey. I wasn't sure what was healthy that I would want to serve to friends that weren't dieting or purposefully eating healthy. Last night I was hoping to grill out, but the weather didn't accommodate so I ended up baking everything with mixed success. It's a good think my friends know what a good cook I normally am, because last night was less than spectacular. The chicken was fine, but I tried to cook these potatoes (both sweet and regular):

It should be noted that it did not go well. ha ha

They took 2 hours at 350 degrees- I had budgeted an hour. Oh well, lessons learned. So when it came time to eat I had chicken, salad, asparagus, and roasted cabbage. I had a tray of vegetables in the oven, along with the still baking potatoes. Not the worst case scenario, but not ideal. Everyone had a great time, and we just ended up grazing on the food through the evening as it came out of the oven while we sat around and talked. Overall, it was really nice seeing everyone, and the food was great even if it wasn't all ready at the same time. :) 

As for the weight-loss part of this journey there has been little change. I still sit at 223. I've fluctuated between 223-225 for the last week or more. I still eat 1300-1350 calories a day. I'm working out 3 days a week. I'm eating healthy foods- LOTS of fruits and vegetables with lean protein. I'm still really confused on the whole "am I eating too many or too few calories". My hip has really been sore since I started the Couch to 5k program. I'm going to cut back and maybe try the elliptical next week instead of the treadmill. Something different without as much impact. I'm proud of the 30lbs I've lost, but I'm getting concerned that I won't be under 200 for my birthday in June. I realize that sounds silly, and I've still got about 8 weeks to go, but 24lbs in 8 weeks is a tall order- especially if this plateau doesn't break. 

Frustrated, but Determined

Howdy,

I'd like to take a moment to express absolute frustration by the conflicting information online about calories, exercise, dieting, etc. Using a variety of formulas and online calculators I'm supposed to be eating anywhere from 1200 (Livestrong) to 1400 (LoseIt) to 1700 (Some other- I forget) calories daily to average 2 lb a week loss. When I started counting calories I took the middle road between LoseIt and Livestrong and have been eating around 1300 calories a day. Usually between 1300-1350 plus exercising 2-3 days a week (30 min cardio and ~ 20 min of weights). I've only dropped about 5 lbs since I started adding exercise. Through some online research on a variety of "credible" sites (Livestrong, .gov sites, mayo clinic, etc.) I've found the following answers and suggestions:

• I'm eating too many calories- this could be for a variety of reasons. 
• I'm not logging my calories accurately
• I find this doubtful. I log EVERYTHING and when I log a food that I don't have a perfect count on I guess high after looking up the suggested calorie amount. 
• I've chosen the wrong equation for calculating BMR
• I'm eating my workout calories. 
• Again doubtful- I rarely meat more on workout days.
• I'm not eating enough calories, thus sending my body into a "starvation mode" that may or may not exist. 
• The inflammation in my muscles from working out is causing a gain of up to 5-10 lbs of water weight. 
• Supposedly after about a month of consistent workouts this is supposed to adjust and decrease. 
• I'm not working out enough to impact anything. 
• I'm not incorporating "cheat" days where I eat 500-700 calories over my limit in order to shock my system and prevent a starvation mode. 

UGH- and folks wonder why people get discouraged and just throw their hands up in exasperation. OK, that being said I'm feeling great (other than a little soreness after running days), and I really do love my new diet. I'm even looking forward to gym days. I'm not going to be giving up anytime soon... I just needed to vent. Perhaps Monday I'll look into seeing a nutritionist at a local hospital for more personalized help. 

I started taking a picture of notable (for taste, health, and variety) meals I've cooked lately. This was a great one. Oven roasted cabbage (Recipe Here) which has become a BIG favorite for me. Cooked mushrooms and onions in a splash of olive oil. Mixed baby greens with Newman's Own Low Fat Sesame Ginger Dressing (Product Link) another favorite- a little goes a long way. And finally a bulgur, corn, and black bean stuffed salmon fillet pre made from HEB- just stick the tray in the oven and cook. It was $5, and the bar-code scanned at only 280 calories. VERY filling, tasty and nutritious dinner that came in at around 422 calories. 

To Gym, or Not to Gym, That is the Question

As I mentioned before the "diet" portion of all this is going well. I don't feel like I'm making the "choices" that I used to. No sacrifices, No hunger, No missing out on good food. And dieting alone got me (for the most part) to 30 lbs down. I didn't join the gym until mid March. It was a hard decision for me.

The Concerns:

• $40 a month + annual and sign up fees 
• no real history of going to a gym, 
• not a great track record on that whole get out and be active thing outside of horses... 
• I was really afraid it would be a waste of money. 
• Not to mention feeling out of place... I'm fat, they're thin, I'm lost, they know what they are doing, I'm going to be struggling, this is what they "do". 

Lucky for me, my friend, "Sweetest Person Ever," was also considering joining a gym. There was one next to her work, that was also on the way home for me, and we signed up for a tour.  SPE (Sweetest Person Ever) had done the gym thing before, and I felt better having "an insider" along. The gym is small, not too crowded after work, and convenient. With a mutual accountability promise we signed up. The first couple of times my workout was a brisk walk on the treadmill for 30 min. That was it. lol. But I'm in Texas, and we've had a cold (for us), wet winter that I wasn't going to get out in and the summer is wicked hot. Thus, I figured walking even just 30 min a day 2-3 times a week was a good start and better than nothing. After Week 1, SPE and I decided to add machine weights, arms and legs 3 cycles of 12 reps. It only takes about 20 minutes or so, and that bumps my total gym time to right at 50 minutes - an hour. I started listening to the podcast No Such Thing As A Fish, and that gives me a fun mental diversion that I can enjoy on and off the treadmill.

I have been bumping my speed/incline on the treadmill to increasing intensity with some interval intensity type workouts, but always at a walk. I don't run. I've never run. I just assumed that sharp-shooting would save me in the zombie apocalypse... not cardio. But, last week I decided to download the Couch to 5k app and give it a try. It came highly recommended, notably by SPE, and so I decided to start "running". It took me three days to complete the Day 1, Week 1 jog/walk combo!! Talk about depressing! The app designer's understanding of "couch" was WAY more capable than I was! On the third try I was able to finish Day 1, Week 1 in time without cheating (walking every other run time). That was this past Monday 4/6/15.

Things I Am Learning:

• There is a difference between running and walking shoes, and investing in decent running shoes was the BEST thing I could have done. 
• I got these: http://www.fitnessmagazine.com/workout/gear/running-shoes/shoetopia-the-best-sneakers-for-every-workout/?page=13
• Breathing makes a difference. 
• Running sucks. 
• Couch to Whatever Apps are Not really designed for TOTAL beginners. They assume you already have an ability to walk/jog. You should be prepared to work your way up to the Day 1, Week 1, and be prepared to repeat difficult days/weeks until you can proceed. It's not really Days, but rather than ability levels. 

The other thing I should point out is that AFTER I started working out I hit my longest plateau yet. Before my weight was a fairly steady drop... now it seems to stick, stick, stick, and then whoosh a loss of a few pounds. The whooshes are GREAT, but the sticky days are REALLY frustrating when I know I've been watching my calories, I know I'm working out, I know I'm drinking my water, and nothing. My measurements are what saved my determination. I was losing inches even if the scale was stuck. 

Whew, well you now know 3 months in 3 days, and soon I guess I'll start my more normal, and hopefully less wordy, posts. 

Time Jump w/ Recipe!

So yesterday you learned about who I am, and where I started. Today lets look at what I've done the last three months.

• The first step I took was dropping soda- specifically Dr. Pepper. I was drinking 2-4 20-oz Dr. Peppers a day, not including refills at restaurants. This didn't happen overnight. I started by weaning myself to cans that I brought to work and stocked in a mini fridge in my office instead of buying the bottles in the vending machines. This saved money and dropped my total consumption to 2-4 cans not including restaurants. Slowly I started stocking bottles of water with the Dr. Pepper and weaning myself over. Within a month I was only drinking Dr. Pepper when I went out to eat. I then substituted sweet tea over Dr. Pepper when I went out. Why not water you ask? Because I'm a weirdo and sometimes restaurant water tastes funny. I have a mental list of places that are "water approved". Nowadays when ordering a drink at a restaurant, I'm usually getting a water or an unsweetened ice tea that gets a sweet n low or splenda treatment. 
• Next was my daily diet. At first I was not calorie counting, or even keeping a food journal. For all of January I just made better choices one meal at a time. Instead of cooking potato and onion hash with bacon and a fried egg for breakfast I made oatmeal, or an egg white omelet*. Instead of getting a heavy, greasy blue plate special I stocked my mini fridge with Lunchables, grapes, string cheese, and yogurt. Dinner was a little different. I have a close friend who is a Paleo-Cross fit Queen. She was my voice of reason on nutrition and exercise questions. It must be said that she NEVER pushed me or judged me. She just gave really great advice on what worked for her, and I'll be forever grateful to her for the encouragement and help that I received. Having her over for dinner meant more protein, less carbs, lots of veggies and a friend to cook for and enjoy the food with. Not losing my communal association and use of food to be with friends was a huge help in getting me started and staying on track. 
• In February after a 10+ pound loss in my first month with making minimal changes to my daily life I decided to step it up a notch. I downloaded LoseIt and got systematic in my weigh-ins and diet. 
• First, I put a year long monthly calendar above my scale. Every morning I get up, strip, use the bathroom, and get on the scale. Whatever number I see gets written on today's date. Weigh-ins are much talked about in the online weight loss community. I chose daily because that is what works for me. I write it on the calendar so that I can see trends through the week/month. 
• I also started taking measurements on a weekly (Thursday after weigh-in) basis at the suggestion of PCFQ (Paleo-Cross Fit Queen). She knew that plateaus would come and the measurements give me hope when the scale doesn't. Measurement get written on the monthly calendar as well for trend watch. 
• LoseIt was the phone app that I went with. I found the interface intuitive, and it easy to work with. I only had the free version until last week. Everything meaningful can be accomplished with the free version. I chose to upgrade to monitor my water and nutrient trends. 
• By March weigh-ins and recording weights/measurements is normal and old hat. I was averaging 10lbs lost a month ~ 2 lbs a week. Food wasn't dominating my life like before. I eat when I'm hungry- about every 3-4 hours. I just make sure of two things- 
• I don't allow myself to get REALLY hungry. This was HUGE for me. Before this year I would not eat breakfast, work through lunch and when I got off work I'd be starving! Like, I'm shaking and will eat whatever is closest to me that I can chew minimally while swallowing huge chunks of. This meant LOTS of fast food bags/boxes in my car, and no meaningful food in my stomach. It also meant that when I got home I was only slightly less famished, so I would cook a dinner for a family of 4, eat 2 servings, and put the other two up for the next day. 
• What I do eat is good for me. (Greek) Yogurt and granola, Low-fat string cheese, grapes, individual serving veggie or fruit trays (these have replaced the lunchables lately). Steadily snacking on these low-cal options through my day keeps me energized and full so I don't feel as desperate to get food in my stomach on my way home. I also keep a water bottle in my hand at all times. Do I pee like a racehorse? Yes, lol, but that's ok. 
• Because food was coming so naturally I decided to step up my game plan in March. I added exercise. As in, I joined a gym! I think that gym stories would be an excellent post for tomorrow. In the meantime here's a recipe for the Egg White Omelette that I had much success with- 

*Egg White Omelet: 

4 Eggs (3 Egg Whites, 1 Whole)

2 T Mexican Shredded Cheese

2 T Black Beans

2 T Salsa (I put 3, because I REALLY like chunky salsa.)

Salt and Pepper to taste- I find that with a good salsa I don't need either. 

Crack your eggs, and separate whites into a bowl. Discard unused yolks. Whisk, Poor into a non-stick skillet and let set. Add salsa, beans, and cheese. Once egg has mostly set fold and enjoy! I usually eat this along with some Greek Strawberry yogurt with a little granola. It keeps me full and satisfied well into lunch! My recipe is based on this one: http://www.myrecipes.com/recipe/southwestern-omelet The nutritional information below is from the link, my omelet is a little lighter in calories. 

Nutritional Information

Calories 181

Caloriesfromfat 27 %

Fat 5.5 g

Satfat 2.3 g

Monofat 1 g

Polyfat 0.8 g

Protein 20.2 g

Carbohydrate 13.8 g

Fiber 6 g

Cholesterol 116 mg

Iron 2.1 mg

Sodium 822 mg

Calcium 184 mg

Hi and Welcome!

As I have been reading through dieting blogs for the last few months I noticed that few if any pertained to me and my struggles to lose 100 pounds in 2015. In an effort to hold myself accountable, and maybe help someone else in their journey I decided to start blogging my weight loss journey and my adoption of a healthy lifestyle. I'm hoping this blog will be memoir, recipe bank, and community as I lose myself in 2015!

I am

• 29 (I'll be 30 in June, which is my half-way point and impetus for this new me in the first place).
• Female
• 5'2- 5'4 depending on what gas station I'm leaving.
• 253 pounds as of January 5, 2015
• 223 pounds as of April 7, 2015 (Yes, I'm starting this 3 months and 30 lbs in.).

I decided to do this not as a New Year's Resolution, but because I was fat, single (mostly by my choice?), unhealthy, and unhappy. I couldn't touch my toes easily, my stomach stuck out farther than my breasts, and I didn't like myself very much. I felt like I had NO self control... my joke was that I had lots of will power, but no will not power. Food controlled me in a way I find increasingly disturbing. I had been over 200 pounds since the end of my sophomore year of college. My freshman 15 was really the sophomore 50 combined with a Junior/Senior 25. Both of my parents had undergone weight-loss surgery (one gastric bypass and one lap-band) with mixed results. I was seriously considering the vertical sleeve surgery myself... in fact I was waiting on my vestment with my work to qualify. That was a big one. I was continuing to be obese, making no attempt to be better, while I waited on a magic fix. 

In addition (I know, I know, like I needed more reasons than the above paragraph), I have always ridden horses... mostly competitively... and lately my abilities in the saddle were suffering because of my weight. My balance was poor, which meant my horses had to work double. In hand work was low quality or non-existent because I would get so winded. My weight was getting in the way of my passion, and I needed to fix it now- not in two years when I qualified for surgery. 

My excuses were plentiful and increasingly creative!

• I'm too busy- working 10-12 hours a day I NEED the Dr. Pepper just to survive!
• I barely have time to sleep- how am I supposed to add in meal prep and working out? 
• I LOVE to cook the fried, buttery food that I grew up with- how can I turn my back on that? 
• There's no such thing as a "skinny" cook.
• Fresh fruits and vegetables are expensive and spoil too quickly to use going to the grocery store once a month. Pre-packaged and frozen is the way to go. 
• I was openly hostile to friends that made healthy eating and regular exercise a dedicated part of their lives (Sorry guys... and am thankful and happy you stuck with me, and stuck by me through all of this.)
• It's in my genes to be in this size jeans... just look at my family. 

So yeah, that's where I started. A good place to start the blog I think. Tomorrow I'll catch you up on the last 3 months, and maybe a recipe. My love for cooking hasn't gone anywhere- I'm just changing up the ingredients.